Thursday, June 28, 2012

110. H.O.M.E

i have been home for 18 days now..
but have been too lazy to write anything..
mainly because i haven't been doing much things..
sleep, eat, sleep, watch TV..
that's my daily routine..

got an email today..
stating the result of my 3 months worth of hard work..
my dissertation..

thank God for the guidance throughout the whole process..
for the help i got from my supervisor,
my darling friends and my parents..
thank God for the results..

anyway i think i've now got used 
to the humidity and the heat of my lovely country..

2 more weeks before i have to enter my prison again..
a place where there is a limited supply of muddy and rusty water,
limited variety of food,
strict and ridiculous rules,
nonsense scoldings..

back to busy schedules where
every minute of the day is filled with activities..
i'll be so tired by the end of the day
that i'll fall asleep immediately..
won't have time to think of anything else..
which could be a good thing at times..


Saturday, June 9, 2012

109. less than 24 hours..home...

9 more hours before i leave Plymouth
20 hours more before i leave England
 for good..
a place filled with lots of memories..
a place i have spent 3 years studying..
a place where i have grown to love..

there's too many different emotions in me
that i can no longer distinguish each of them..
i was experiencing mood swing the whole day..
being sad one moment
being so happy one moment
laughing aloud with joy one moment
overwhelmed by the sadness of parting one moment..
i can't seemed to be able to decide
what i want to feel..

but then again...
i will soon be home..
a place that where i am showered with lots of love...

Lord,
please give me the strength 
to deal with all these sadness of parting..
help me see the joy behind all these sadness..
may our life experience here be a memorable moment to us all..

i thank God for all of you..
i thank God that He planned our meeting..

Friday, June 8, 2012

108. i'm on cloud 9 boat..

*grinning widely*
*laughing alone*
we are finally friends after 40 seconds..
hehehehehheheh

today is officially my last day in Plymouth..
it's Friday!!
why art thou here so soon??
i am actually very sad..
got to leave behind so many things..
but my day is now cheerful again!!
oh... i mean night...

again i feel your warmth..
despite the very cold and wet weather..
it's like Plymouth is crying as she bids goodbye to us..

how else can i make my last day meaningful..?
this is perhaps the best way!!
*grins*
i love being silly at this very moment..
this feels so good that
i'm not sure if i can sleep tonight..


(shall we go for a date on a boat? you row and i love)
~might not make much sense though~

Thursday, June 7, 2012

107. 57 hours to go..

oh my goodness..!!
as i am writing this post,
it just occurred to me that 
i have only roughly 57 hours to go 
before i leave Plymouth..
a place i have called home for 33 months..

i know i have only 2 days left but
that fact just hit me..
where have i spent all my time?

it is late now but i'm reluctant to sleep..
i'm tired but i want to stay awake..
even though i am doing nothing,

i no longer know what i am feeling..
the mixed feeling that i had previously
is no longer mixed..
i don't know what is the next level of mixed..
feeling-less then??

i don't like packing..
but i have to do a lot of it lately..
packing my things for shipping,
putting them in boxes..
sealing my boxes..
lots of tapes..
lots of bubble wraps..
but
a horrible thing happened
for my shipping of boxes..
due to a man with poor management and planning..


packing my bags..
found out that i underestimated my property..
too much things to fit in the bags..
what am i going to throw or leave behind?
everything holds a memory..

apart from packing and wasting my time,
i don't really know what else to do..
every minute seemed so precious now..
so many things that i want to do 
in such a limited time..
oh my..oh my..

May God lead and guide me in making 
every second and micro second worth while..
my vision is blurry now..
maybe it is really time to get some rest..
with the sound of raindrops hitting my window..
it is really a very good time and atmosphere to be sleeping..

106. why i write..

i was just reading back some things i have written..
it feels so weird that i don't remember writing them..
if my name was not there..
i would never have assumed that i have written them..
why would i write such thing?
what was i feeling then?
what made me wrote that?
what had inspired me?
it is just a very weird feeling..

maybe that's why i like to write..
to write nonsense i mean..
not any academic stuff..
it makes me realise
how much i have grown,
how much i have mature,
how my views and opinions have changed..
how i reacted to things then..

it's a weird feeling..
weird in a very good way..