94. my name..

i have been in the UK for almost 3 years now and i kinda dread introducing myself every time i meet new people simply because i know they would find it difficult to pronounce my name and they would just somehow say it wrongly. it is very common for me to repeat myself a few times before they could get somewhere close to having my name said correctly. i never really realised that my name was that difficult to be pronounce but i don't really blame them. it is an uncommon name to them and at least they take the initiative to try. 

when i first arrived, i thought i would come up with a so called 'English' name so that it would be more convenient for the locals to say it. i asked my parents to think of one that would suit me but mom assured me that i do not need one cause if they cared enough, they would somehow try to say it correctly. and she always felt that once i have an 'English' name, i would not be using my chinese name anymore which they had taken a lot of time and effort to come up with. so for that, i decided to stick to my given name..i know i'm making a big fuss over my name..but i wouldn't like to be called something different from what my parents had decided to name me..

and today i found out how these 2 lovely people try to remember my name..

1. tea and way (which makes it sound very similar)

2. Theo Walcott -a football player from Arsenal (i don't quite see much similarities in it but if that's how he remembers it, ok then..)

93. reminder to future self

just thought i should post this here as a reminder to myself..

i'll never know when i might need such encouragement in the future..

Me: God, can I ask you a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise u won't get mad ...

God: I promise
... ...
Me: Why did u let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God:Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?

God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Ok

God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things , the good & the bad.

Me: I will trust you

God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children...

92. thank You for always there..

thank You...

for Your guidance,

for Your blessings,

for Your grace and

for Your love...

i always forget

and try to take things into my own control..

that is when things always

get out of control...

thankfully,

i have a great You

to forgive me,

and to lead me back on track..

You are my leader,

my friend, my comforter,

my love, my saviour,

my God..;)

thank You for never giving up on me..

things got pretty bad the whole of last week..i tried to do everything with my own strength but only He knows how weak i was..i tried and tried and got frustrated but things still didn't work out..till i realised that i was on my own..i wasn't giving Him a chance to help me..thank You for sending me words of encouragement and love through the people around me..to let me see how hard You wanted to help me all the time..it was me too busy pushing You away thinking that i could handle it myself..

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight"

Proverbs 3:5-6

91.i have to..

i like it when i say things for fun

and yet you still take me seriously..

when i would smile and laugh

even if it is not really that funny..

when you and i 

have to go about our lives

but would still take the time 

to have a chat 

every now and then

just to catch up..

i know who you really are 

and what you really want..

but i can't let go of my own wants 

and for that  

letting go is perhaps the best decision..