138. perks of being a teacher #1

so far, i've been teaching in this school for 4 and a half months. i have learnt the culture of the school, the names of the teachers, the names of the students, the famous classes and the notorious classes. as a student teacher, i have my own sets of expectations and beliefs. now that i am in a real situation of teaching life, my expectations have shrunk and beliefs changed. i'm not sure if the changes have been good or bad.

teaching life is definitely a roller-coaster ride. in a single lesson of a 40 minute period, students can drive you up the wall and the very next second, they can be really sweet and pleasant. before you know it, you feel like banging your head on the whiteboard again. now i understand why teachers tend to have high blood pressure and high stress level ;p

but being a teacher has taught me to be more forgiving and patient. no doubt that i have lose my patience many times, but each time i forgive them the moment my lesson ended. there is really no point in holding any grudges against the students. for one, they are not even aware that you are still angry at them. secondly, students have their ups and downs just like any human. it would be very unfair to be angry at them the next day just because they were disruptive the previous day. thirdly, i would go insane in no time if i am angry at each student who caused any problem.

teaching kampung students can be difficult yet memorable. these kids have higher energy level than any other teenagers their age. their favourite pastime is to go in the jungle to catch birds or to pick 'ulam'. they have such active lifestyle that it is rather difficult to have them sit quietly in the class and to stay focus in the lesson. as difficult as it can be, there are also the joy and sweetness in teaching them.

JOY 1:
i was teaching 2U (the last class and is very 'well known' for being the noisiest and most difficult to control class and has very low results academically) Maths on the topic of 'Pembinaan Geometri'. i showed them the steps on the board, one step at a time, and made sure that i said it slowly and repeated the steps many times. after i finished drawing the triangle, one of the students put up her hand and asked me how to draw the first step. i thought she was the only one. i went around the class checking only to find out that out of the 24 students, only 2 had done what i showed on the board. it tested my patience and i doubted myself if i could even help them understand Maths. i felt like a failure but i tried to explain it to them again. after explaining to them for 40 minutes, they were able to draw the triangle. i gave them 3 similar questions and they stared at me again asking me how to do them. i felt like banging my head then and can't help but wondered what had i been doing for the past 40 minutes?? have i not been teaching you?? have i been talking to the walls and chairs in the class?? didn't you just drew a triangle similar to the questions??

i breathed in and out to calm myself and decided to start again. things are very repetitive in this class as they are very forgetful. well, this scenario happens a lot in this class, not just this once. i explained to them in a smaller group and showed them that the questions are very similar to the practice they did minutes ago. i went around the class and explained to different groups and asked them to carry on with the questions. when i came to this boy, K, he told me that he finished all the questions and even did extras from the textbook. i was amazed and i checked his answers. FUIYOH!!!! all correct!! how can i not be proud of him!! it felt like all the time i spent explaining just now was not wasted..that i did something right and i wasn't speaking in a foreign language and someone DID understand me ;) well, this boy didn't know he made my day..but i was so proud of him!!

JOY 2:
i was teaching my form 3 class English and this boy, H, from the next class came in to my class with a few of his friends. they asked if they can join my class as they have another teacher relieving their class. i was not sure i could handle so many students as i already have 33 students but i made a deal with them anyway that they could stay in my class only if they do my work, anyone of them who disrupt my class would be kicked out. they agreed to it. the activity of the day was to make a mother's day card using the language input from previous lesson. the students in my class took their sweet time doing it but they were on task. H wrote a few lines and showed me to check if he was doing the right thing. i read what he wrote and thought that it was rather chessy to be writing it to his mother but i said nothing about it. i told him that he was doing the right thing and he could carry on with it. he was the first to finish it and handed it to me. i was surprised and praised him for the good work. i asked if he wanted to take it home to give it to his mother or he wanted me to keep it and he asked me to keep it. i persuaded him to show it to his mother and he told me that his mother is not around. i was curious and wanted to know what he meant by that. students here tend to lie or create stories, so i learnt not to trust them too easily. he told me that he does not have a mother and i realised that the message he wrote on the card was not cheesy at all. he really meant what he wrote. H caught my attention immediately. most of the time, students would ask if they could make a card for someone else if they are not comfortable with the task given. but this boy was special. he did the task without any hesitation and did it very well indeed. i felt sorry for him yet i was proud of him. i know his mother would be even prouder if she was still around. H made me realised i would never know what every student is going through in their lives. i would never have known he lost his mother if he did not join my class and did the task.

Dear H, be proud of yourself and do know that your mother will share your happiness.


JOY 3:
i'm the class teacher of the last class of form 5. i personally adore this group of kids. somehow there's this special attachment with them being their class teacher. i am more protective over them and always made sure that they were given a fair chance and opportunity in things. even though some of them drive me up the wall, most of them can be really sweet.

this particular boy, A, once threw a cockroach at me. thank God it was only a cockroach and not anything else. i guessed he wanted to scare me and intended to throw it near me. but he didn't expect me to move and it hit me on my tummy and dropped on the floor. he was shocked! i was shocked beyond words but i acted cool and ignored him. he knew i was angry and expected to be scolded. instead i glared at him and walked off to help another student with her work. it was a good thing that the lesson ended not long after that. A followed me around the class apologising. i wasn't angry but i wanted to teach him a lesson. i walked back to my staff room and he tagged along asking if i was angry with him and he kept apologising. i knew he was sincere and in the end i told him he was forgiven and asked him to go back to the class. after that incident he was very good in class. he did my work and asked questions. i eventually got to know him better.

last week we had our school Hari Raya celebration. i was the 'ah long' asking students to pay RM 2 every time i see them. they gave all sorts of reasons not to pay but eventually i managed to get them to pay. i asked the students to bring along any cookies or cakes for the celebration if they have any. A asked me what i wanted. i asked if he had any durian kunyit and that i would buy from him if he has any. i heard it is very delicious, even better than musang king. he said he would try to find for me. i told him he didn't have to make an effort, sell to me only if he got them. he came to school the next day looking unwell. he came to me and told me that he found the durians for me. aww.. God bless his kind heart.. i asked why was he unwell, he looked alright the previous day. he told me that while he waited for the durians yesterday, it rained and he caught a flu. argh!! the guilt of making my student ill.. who would have thought that this boy who threw a cockroach at me can be this sweet to wait in the rain for the durians to drop just because his teacher wanted to try them...yes i still feel guilty but he was well again after one day!! guilt gone!! heheh..

JOY 4:
this boy, Z, is also in my form 5 class. he's the class monitor. very responsible and kind. while i was having a difficult time collecting RM 2 from my students, Z gave me the money almost immediately. he even gave me extra RM1 and said that it was his extra contribution to the class. i didn't want to accept it at first because i know that my students are not really well off and i am aware of his family background. but he was very sincere and insisted on giving extra. i thanked him on behalf of the class. though RM 1 is nothing to many of us, it definitely meant a lot for the students. Z has been absent from school quite a lot recently and i later found out that he was home taking care of his grandma who is not well. how not to give special attention to such good boy??

so on the day of Raya celebration in school, my students came dressed in their new clothes looking handsome and pretty. students were given packed food while the teachers had their own buffet-style meal. all the teachers ate in the hall. i quietly took my food and went to eat with my students in the canteen. it's not always that i get to hang out with my students and just talk to them and to get to know them. i made the right choice and i enjoyed myself. it was difficult to eat while you're crowded by students who asked all sorts of questions. but i managed to finish my small portion of food after a long time. i sponsored drinks for my class and wanted to buy ice for them from the canteen but the canteen was out of it. Z volunteered to buy and asked permission to go out to buy. i was reluctant to allow him out but he insisted. in the end i told him to 'pandai pandai la' and be very careful. he came back in one piece and a packet of ice. thank God. so kind of him to go out with the real intention of buying ice. other students might have taken this opportunity to go out and vanish from school after that. this student can definitely be trusted and i could see that his friends do adore and respect him. this boy is not aware that his kindness and sincerity has been a blessing to his teacher and had in many ways made teaching life be more memorable and fun for her.






these scenarios are just a few very memorable ones for now..these kids left a very significant memory during my first few months of teaching.. May God bless this kinds souls who helped me realise that despite the frustration and disappointments in teaching, there's also the joy and love that shines from the whole experience.

in times of frustrations and doubts, i hope my fellow friends can take time to find such moments and to know that it is all worth it. even if only one student understood you..it is still worth it.. may you be blessed..